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Anger and Self-Compassion Anger may seem like a natural reaction if someone hurts you, but what about when you face a major transition in your life, feel overwhelmed at work, or begin to gain weight? Then those feelings may not make sense to you, and if they lead you to hurt yourself or someone else, you may feel like you have an enemy within. But you don’t. Actually, anger can point us toward parts of ourselves that need some attention. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1581835035508-OM1CXFIA1GSBWW4EZOYD/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Anger and Self-Compassion Anger may seem like a natural reaction if someone hurts you, but what about when you face a major transition in your life, feel overwhelmed at work, or begin to gain weight? Then those feelings may not make sense to you, and if they lead you to hurt yourself or someone else, you may feel like you have an enemy within. But you don’t. Actually, anger can point us toward parts of ourselves that need some attention. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1555125918370-MB5WX6QZ2TSTZ52OL2A7/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - The Power of Not Knowing What to Do Sometimes it seems like there is no right choice to make, and it’s enough to drive people nuts. But before you react to your emotions, flip a coin, or pretend you know what you’re doing, consider taking a moment to stay with the uncertainty. Arriving at “I don’t know” is an important step in not just finding the answer to your question, but in mastering your life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1555126265481-VWYSGW10XQEQVZ21VSI6/Thumbnail-YT-v3.jpg Video Gallery - How to Deal with Crisis and Difficult Times Whether it’s a job loss, the death of a loved one, having your identity stolen, or a million other types of setback, we’re dealt difficulty at every turn in life. Thank goodness. Crises break you down in order to break you open. The process of coming to terms with them is the way we evolve and grow in all the ways that really matter. Here’s why your next crisis might be the best thing that could happen for you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1552759247298-HE64P4U61HBOPDSYHTRE/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - How Boredom Can Help You Succeed (Productivity Series Part 3 of 3) You may not like being bored, but there’s a case to be made for boredom being very good for you, if sometimes you just let it be (or even induce it!), settle into it, and see where it leads. Sometimes it even makes sense to induce boredom! 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Here’s why your next crisis might be the best thing that could happen for you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1550254689713-9DK76JYQGLI7CECZDTIX/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - How to Stop Procrastination the Creative Way (Productivity Series Part 1 of 3) People usually think of procrastination as a problem with focus, willpower, or self-doubt, and that brute force is the best way to deal with it. These things aren’t necessarily true. Here’s a fresh way to understand procrastination—as a function of your creativity and imagination. Learn how to make space for creativity in your life, and put it to good use, so you get unstuck and feel inspired to take action right now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1549144263556-5OENB79LCW4720EZTI5B/Thumbnail-YT-HQ.jpg Video Gallery - Reclaiming the Parts of Yourself You Thought Were Lost Sometimes it can feel like important parts of ourselves have been left behind or lost to the sands of time. It happened to me, when I came to fear that I’d lost a colorful, vibrant part of me from my youth. It took something as simple as a pair of shoes to help me realize that it had been with me the whole time. You need to know that any “lost” parts of you are hiding in plain sight . . . and they're counting on you to continue looking for them. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/59ec3c376f4ca3771eebba5e/5caaa9f91bcb9c603665c60f/1554024673523/ Video Gallery - Why You Should Embrace Crisis and Difficult Times Whether it’s a job loss, the death of a loved one, having your identity stolen, or a million other types of setback, we’re dealt difficulty at every turn in life. Thank goodness. Crises break you down in order to break you open. The process of coming to terms with them is the way we evolve and grow in all the ways that really matter. 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In this Facebook Live, I talked about what's probably underneath it all—self-doubt—and some tips for what to do, starting today, to feel competent, make progress, and enjoy less tension in your life. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1547791499688-T65ZKXH1KAOR5G3R4KWJ/YT+Thumbnail-v2.jpg Video Gallery - How Your Expectations Can Work Against You (and What to Do About It) Experiencing letdown after letdown can be maddening, and if you aren't careful, it can turn you into a sourpuss—and that can leave you feeling pretty lonely. 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Maybe you want to give it try in your life? https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1535784754475-6VZ7P0T5ZLFTTHHA2VQD/Thumbnail+title.jpg Video Gallery - Mindfulness for Worry and Anxiety It’s not entirely bad to worry. Worrying helps motivate us to take care of business. But it isn’t all that fun or relaxing. Plus, it can snowball into an anxiety disorder—and does for a large percentage of the population. Fortunately, mindfulness meditation can help you be less tortured by thoughts of the future, and settle more comfortably into the present. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1534099360628-HJ674DHHUKKLAY6PPMS1/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Three Truths to Keep You Sane in a Social (Media) World It's fashionable for people to claim they don't care what others think of them. But that's rarely the case, and that's a good thing! (We are social beings, after all.) But balancing others' opinions of us with following our own North Star—that's the challenge, and even more so if you use social media. In this video I cover some of the research and give you three truths to bear in mind in order to savor social connection while avoiding some big pitfalls. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1534099606812-0WVOMYYDL933S60UBMBX/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - How to Stop Feeling Disappointed So Often When things don’t work out the way we want them to, that temporary disappointment can easily fester into self-doubt and demoralization. But the solution isn’t just to stop expecting things to work out, or having goals. What fun would that be, anyway? Here I cover an important shift you can make, that lets you have healthy hopes, dreams, and expectations, and also be happy and satisfied with a variety of different outcomes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1530398940403-82BFQNOT50FZY87AQK8S/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Being Kind to Your Wandering Mind (in Mindfulness Meditation) Have you ever had a hard time relaxing or focusing because your mind was too busy thinking about the past or future? When your mind seems to have a mind of its own, you can start to think that it’s your enemy . . . but it's not—it's actually trying to help you. Here I share how shifting your perspective on your wandering mind can inspire kindness and gentleness with yourself in your meditation practice. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1528483711716-JZ21XQ5HGJUZTKMWHFGZ/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Three Things You Should Say to Yourself Every Day It’s easy to become discouraged when you face setbacks, don’t feel as happy as you’d like to be, or aren’t making as much progress toward your goals as you’d like. These three ideas can help you stay motivated and positive, and go easy on yourself, especially when life isn’t going easy on you. Try saying them to yourself out loud for a week, and see what you think. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1527749487358-93X86JH3J63IYCT2ZEBM/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Three Ways Mindfulness Can Help Your Career Mindfulness meditation practice has a lot of psychological and physical health benefits, some of which are especially helpful for thriving at work. Now, you might wonder how you're supposed to practice mindfulness meditation at work or home, when you're already busy. Or worry that you'll lose your competitive edge if you get more mindful. I have some answers and good news for you here. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1527139392464-TEKFACNNUH13I2AL513R/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Anger Management: How to Keep From Getting Angry So Often Last time, we covered techniques for coping with anger wisely once it strikes. Here, we look at anger from the bottom up: what causes anger in the first place. Anger can be a valuable tool, pointing you to parts of yourself that want you to take action, or need some attention or healing. Couple that with the skills I covered last time, and you can start to make progress toward a less volatile and more pleasant life—for yourself and the people around you. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1527126351844-TLZS2QGFRWF7X1R4FLMU/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Anger Management: What to Do When You Feel Angry Anger is a natural human emotion, but emotional blow-ups can cause problems. On the other hand, trying to stuff anger down isn't good for you, because it breeds resentment and leads to even bigger blow-ups in the future. In this video I walk you through three tips for changing the way you respond when anger strikes, so you can stop shooting yourself in the foot. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1525880013556-2G2B0GWEKY9IBU1IM43F/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - How to Stop Kicking Yourself for Missed Opportunities Have you ever wanted to speak up or take courageous action, but fear held you back? Growth and improvement require change—and therefore taking risk—and if you play it too safe, you can end up regretting it. Here's how to strike the perfect balance between risk and safety, so you can seize new opportunities wisely and confidently when they arise. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1515632213682-N3XRM0A1JCROFNFHSCBQ/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Smart Goal Setting for Success and Happiness Here are a couple of tips for increasing your motivation and achieving your goals, whether they're New Year's resolutions or any others throughout the year. Also, what types of goals to set to increase your happiness, whether you achieve them or not. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508654709085-IUFAMYFTOFWNMM9D7YKF/maxresdefault.jpg Video Gallery - Intrinsic Goals and Inner Transformation It's easy to get hung up on the pursuit of extrinsic pursuits like money and power, but those aren't the path to a deep sense of happiness and fulfillment in the long run. In this brief segment for WSLS in Virginia, I discuss why an intrinsic orientation can help you to achieve the kind of life you probably really want. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1544423765746-VFG4V9CKBG50EO7Z9F0K/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - The Setback Factory: How Your Expectations Are Keeping You Stuck (and How to Fix It) Experiencing letdown after letdown can be maddening, and if you aren't careful, it can turn you into a sourpuss—and that can leave you feeling pretty lonely. In this live training, I covered how your own expectations are setting you up for letdowns, and how to adjust your approach, so you start producing ease and gratification instead of disappointment. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508654818067-5U3EC7B5DXNX719LWM3W/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Daytime @ Nine: When Money and "Things" Just Don't Cut It Whether you're able to achieve them or not, fixating on the pursuit of extrinsic goals like money, cars, and clothes tends to backfire on you. Yet, that's exactly what society conditions us to do. In this segment for San Antonio's Daytime @ Nine, I discuss how you can reorient your efforts toward intrinsic goals, and start feeling better right now. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655017748-PG6OLXKW7EE28TVJRYR5/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - San Diego Living: Communication Skills for Dad Dads don't need to be superheros to make a big difference in their kids' lives (and neither do moms, by the way). In this interview for the San Diego Living morning show, I stress the need for dads to take it easier on themselves, and provide some communication tips they can use to form stronger bonds with their kids. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655402723-2J6PS2K9H3P0P9948QDZ/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Let's Talk Live: Dads Don't Need to be Perfect! (WJLA, D.C. 8) Historically, mothers have felt more internal and external pressure to be perfect, but fathers aren't immune to the pressure. In this interview on Let's Talk Live in Washington, D.C., I dispel the myth that dads need to be perfect, discuss their changing roles in the family, and provide some helpful tips for dads. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655512776-Y5VZOHCF7PFAX176H0SK/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Family 411: Rising to the Challenges of Single Fatherhood About 46% of kids today in the U.S. grow up in a traditional nuclear family. The remainder live in various "nontraditional" situations, including an increasing number of single father households. In this Family 411 segment, I offer some insight into the unique challenges facing dads trying to make it work by themselves. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655643524-RHVXFIXF7GNBI224HW4I/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Mindfulness, Core Needs, and Your Right Life When you dive deeply into your moment-to-moment experience of your life, you're better able to notice core human needs and capacities that you may not be attending to. Then you know what to do to feel more engaged and satisfied. I cover more on these topics and others in this segment for NTV's Mental Health Monday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655799598-5QFK52JPWEG8K007AA1P/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Staying Motivated and Achieving Your Goals Did you know that not only can your motivation affect your ability to achieve your goals, but that it works the other way, too? In this segment for NTV's Mental Health Monday, I cover a few fundamentals that will help you set long- and short-term goals that will keep you moving AND keep you happy along the way. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508655912119-Z598G9Y8GVCLEVKKSZE3/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Using Your Setbacks as Springboards Setbacks, disappointments, and even tragedies are a fact of life. But they don't have to throw you too far off track. In fact, you can use them as the basis for a redemptive storyline for your life . . . and feelings of deep meaning and satisfaction. Here I provide a quick overview for NTV's Mental Health Monday. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1508656023292-Y0USHESDMI9CZJBVAHMY/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Appreciating and Learning From the Parts of Yourself You Don't Like People often demonize the traits, thoughts, or behaviors they're trying to change. Yet, they are your reptilian brain's attempt to help you. In this segment for NTV's Mental Health Monday, I cover what you can learn from the aspects of yourself you don't like. Plus, why the "angel" and "devil" on your shoulders are really in cahoots. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/59ec3c376f4ca3771eebba5e/5b06194fdc3f5cc294d9aa73/1527126319775/ Video Gallery - Anger Management: What to Do When You Feel Angry Anger is a natural human emotion, but emotional blow-ups can cause problems. On the other hand, trying to stuff anger down isn't good for you, because it breeds resentment and leads to even bigger blow-ups in the future. In this video I walk you through three tips for changing the way you respond when anger strikes, so you can stop shooting yourself in the foot. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1533435512020-49QEAPCSXP0C3VD4KR5D/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - How to Stop Feeling Disappointed So Often When things don’t work out the way we want them to, that temporary disappointment can easily fester into self-doubt and demoralization. But the solution isn’t just to stop expecting things to work out, or having goals. What fun would that be, anyway? Here I cover an important shift you can make, that lets you have healthy hopes, dreams, and expectations, and also be happy and satisfied with a variety of different outcomes. https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/1526590338875-A3SOPHPX1GX4JHYVR0MQ/image-asset.jpeg Video Gallery - Anger Management: What to Do When You Feel Angry Anger is a natural human emotion, but emotional blow-ups can cause problems. On the other hand, trying to stuff anger down isn't good for you, because it breeds resentment and leads to even bigger blow-ups in the future. In this video I walk you through three tips for changing the way you respond when anger strikes, so you can stop shooting yourself in the foot. https://static1.squarespace.com/static/59d95afcf6576ed92f0df556/59ec3c376f4ca3771eebba5e/59ec3e74ca70ec3dd3fbde19/1508654596292/ Video Gallery - Intrinsic Motivation and Inner Transformation It's easy to get hung up on the pursuit of extrinsic pursuits like money and power, but those aren't the path to a deep sense of happiness and fulfillment in the long run. 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