Six Ways to Achieve Your Resolutions and Feel Happier All Year

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A new year is upon us and, if you’re like a lot of people, that means it’s time to set some resolutions for yourself. Often, people’s resolutions involve diet and/or exercise . . . a prioritization of the physical domain that’s reflected in the spiking of new gym memberships each January.

No matter what they are specifically, people tend not to have a lot of success with their resolutions, though. Some studies have generally found a 40-50% success rate after six months, and around 20% after two years. Others have found that only about half of people keep their resolutions for even a month!

Fortunately, researchers in the area of goals and motivation have discovered a wealth of factors that influence our success with change efforts, no matter the time of year.

Below, I summarize a handful of the ones I use all the time with my coaching clients. 

1. Preparation is key

Studies show that the biggest predictor of success of a New Year's resolution isn't the desire to change, or even the support you have from others. It's being prepared and feeling like you can actually do it (which is a byproduct of both being prepared and being aware and appreciative of past achievements). 

So, don't pick a resolution on a whim at 11:59. You'll be more likely to fail and feel bad about yourself, making it even harder to make the changes you really want and need.

2. Set your sights on the invisible

Research has demonstrated, over and over, that you’re much better off with intrinsic long-term goals than extrinsic ones. Intrinsic goals are ones that are intangible, and make you feel good inside over the long haul, rather than objective, material goals that produce more tangible or concrete outcomes, or primarily exist for instant gratification.

Examples of intrinsic goals are competence at work, close connection with others, compassion (for self and others), and reduced feelings of stress.

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When you set your sights on intrinsic motivators, you'll have a greater likelihood of beating the odds and staying motivated over time, plus greater feelings of happiness and well-being while en route to your goals.

Not to mention, the steps you take toward intrinsic goals are likely to set you up for extrinsic success anyway.

3. Intentions, not resolutions

Those intrinsic motivators that I just mentioned work because they appeal to those parts of you deep in your core self that like to be acknowledged and nourished.

Those parts of you don’t care so much about hard-and-fast results; they just appreciate the attention, and that’s why you’ll feel happier just setting your sights on them regardless of whether you achieve them. (Really—the research is very clear on this!)

Therefore, it’s OK to be kind with yourself when making your resolutions. In fact, it’s better to think of them as intentions instead. You’re setting the intention to align the circumstances of your life with what feels most right on the inside. You're setting the intention to get out of your own way.

Setting a resolution can feel more like imposing yet another set of rigid expectations on yourself, which leads to black-and-white thinking. When you slip up, you're more likely to throw in the towel rather than seeing the bigger picture, and continuing on your way.   

4. Extrinsic goals have their place

It isn’t the case that all objective, material goals are bad for you. In fact, it’s very helpful to your change efforts if you establish some objective mid-term goals that can serve as milestones on your way to the long-term intrinsic ones.

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Doing this helps you gauge your progress, stay interested, and feel more confident and capable—all of which can keep you headed in the right direction. Just be sure you don’t lose sight of the forest for the trees, and forget that the objective milestones are just milestones, not the destination.

5. Work at your own pace

It may go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway: January 1 is just another day. Nothing magical happens when you unwrap a new calendar. So, first do the planning and preparation you need in order to develop goals that are meaningful for you, and set yourself up with the tools and confidence you need to succeed.

If that means you don't start until January 2 or February 10, that's ok. Remember that every time you take a breath, you have a fresh start and a new lease on life. (If that sounds New Age-y to you, try not taking a breath and then see what you think.) Don’t let the calendar psych you out.

6. Be good to yourself

Don't focus on the slip-ups. People are more successful at changing behaviors if they keep track of the little victories instead of the setbacks. For instance, if you're quitting smoking, keep a log of all the times that you didn't indulge a craving, not a log of the cigarettes you've had.

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In other words, your change efforts are an attempt to do something really good for yourself, so let that be reflected in the signs of progress you're tracking.

Those are a few of my thoughts for the new year. If these tips make sense to you, I’d encourage you to check out this comprehensive series of mine on setting and achieving goals that really matter to you

And, of course, if you'd like to explore getting some personalized help from me as you set your new course, you can check out the individual coaching page and contact me for a free consultation.

Best wishes for well-being and positive change no matter the season!