5 Steps to Stop Thinking About the Past (in a Healthy Way)

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5 Steps to Stop Thinking About the Past (in a Healthy Way)

Our mind is a wonderful thing—except when it’s out of control, replaying painful, embarrassing, or shameful events from our past. Rumination isn’t just unpleasant, though. It retraumatizes us and reinforces negative beliefs (even though our mind is actually trying to help!).

Here’s a five-step approach to healing and growing where necessary, so you can stop dwelling on the past and start charting a new path forward.

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Finding Stability When Life Feels Uncertain and Chaotic

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Finding Stability When Life Feels Uncertain and Chaotic

Amidst the uncertainty of a major life transition, it’s impossible to plan for every possibility ahead. But we don’t need to. We can see, even in nature, that there is an underlying order to things, even in the most chaotic times. We have an internal order, too.

When we learn to trust these, while also exercising our own wisdom where we can, we can make it through the difficult times and access our full potential.

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The Power of Not Knowing What to Do

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The Power of Not Knowing What to Do

If you’re stuck not knowing what to do next, because you aren’t sure what the right choice is, that’s not entirely bad. Before you flip a coin, react unwisely to the emotions you’re feeling, or pretend you know what you’re doing, consider staying with the uncertainty for a while.

Even in situations where it seems like your choices are equally good—or bad!—and you’re feeling confused and worried, arriving at your “I don’t know” is an important step in not just finding the right answer, but mastering your life.

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Three Things You Can Do to Stop Being Haunted by Regret

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Three Things You Can Do to Stop Being Haunted by Regret

Regret is your mind's way of keeping you from repeating mistakes, but when it hangs around it can do more harm than good. Here I cover how your mind lays the groundwork for regret and how you can nip it in the bud. 

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"Everything Happens for a Reason": The Fact and Fiction Behind the Cliché

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"Everything Happens for a Reason": The Fact and Fiction Behind the Cliché

For some people, it’s a matter of faith that every cloud has a silver lining. However, making meaning from difficulties is a very human, personal process that often requires effort, and not just blind faith.

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How to Talk to Difficult People . . . and Be Glad You Did

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How to Talk to Difficult People . . . and Be Glad You Did

If you’ve ever had to contend with a toxic coworker, a relative who gives you a hard time, or someone else you feel stuck with, who torments you, then you may have felt helpless to do anything but fight fire with fire. But there’s another option: be wise and strategic in your response, to defuse conflict and use the situation for your personal growth. Here’s how to do it.

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Three Daily Affirmations for People Who Don't Like Affirmations

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Three Daily Affirmations for People Who Don't Like Affirmations

Here’s are the top three ideas that, if you can internalize them, can help you bring resilience, performance, peace, and happiness into your life, and keep it there.

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What a Sensory Deprivation Tank Can Reveal About Facing Difficulty

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What a Sensory Deprivation Tank Can Reveal About Facing Difficulty

Was spending a Friday night in a sensory deprivation tank blissful? Not exactly, but it did illustrate the aversion and reactivity that causes us to suffer, and what we can do about it.

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Hurt Feelings: When Are They Too Much?

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Hurt Feelings: When Are They Too Much?

As good as social connection can be, it also leaves us vulnerable to being hurt by others. Here's how best to cope with it when it happens. Also, how hurt feelings can point to things inside you that could use some attention.

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When You're in a Toxic Friendship: The Healthy Way Forward

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When You're in a Toxic Friendship: The Healthy Way Forward

When you're in a toxic relationship with a friend who has an "all-access pass" to you, the pain can cut right to your core. Here's a framework for rationally assessing the situation and moving forward with a minimum of distress. 

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